Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
