can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
