As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
