i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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