Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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