is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize