kristin has been a bad kristin
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
