i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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