we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
