There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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