Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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