It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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