I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
