Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
