and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
They took my balls.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
