put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Randomize
