He uses pillows to masturbate.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
