the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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