Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
