I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize