i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize