The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
