My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize