**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Mom said you looked used
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
