Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
