I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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