please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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