things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
