I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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