no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
