People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
