Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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