none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
