oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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