Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
