We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
