Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i believe in u and ur pee
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
