I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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