My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
