office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
