Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
