i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
