I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
