You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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