OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
