OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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