Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
