I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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