My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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