Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
