The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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