i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
