Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
