i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
