we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
