I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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