I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
