ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
