Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
