I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
