You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
