whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
