Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize