Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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